


They can't take that away from me

by wintersxsoul



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Best Friends, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Has Nightmares, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, F/M, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Insecurity, Insomnia, Light Angst, Nightmares, Romantic Fluff, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-16 09:05:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15433632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintersxsoul/pseuds/wintersxsoul
Summary: Lillian and Bucky are friends and deeply in love, but none of them dares to take the step and confess it. But that changes when Bucky suffers a nightmare one night.





	They can't take that away from me

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea while I listened to "They can't take that away from me" by Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald. I hope you like it!

It was around 4 am, I couldn’t hear a single noise in the whole tower, only my feet carrying my sleep-deprived body to the kitchen to make some coffee. I had a crazy sleeping schedule, I’m not sure if sleeping three or four hours a day should be called schedule, honestly. I’m a huge fan of naps, what can I say? So yeah, I was preparing coffee because I was reading a really boring book, but I  **_detest_ ** not ending a book/movie/tv show, so I had no option, I needed the boost. I love being a crackhead. The book was about two idiots in love having the best time of their life but then one of them dies,  _ tragic _ . It was full of clichés and sentiment, and I basically live for that kind of shit, but it was too cheesy even for me. I will never understand why I love romantic stuff so much, it’s like a huge contrast because, well, I am an ex-HYDRA trained assassin. Makes no sense at all. Once I filled a cup of coffee, I dragged myself to my room, as silent as a ghost. 

Luckily I was on vacation and didn’t have to get up early to train, because Steve would have kicked my ass for sleeping less than two hours, I must add that it has happened before. I really love training with my favourite blondie, but he hated when I didn’t sleep because I was more grumpy than usual.

I was approaching my room when I heard a loud noise coming from Bucky’s room, so I stormed into his chamber ready to attack, coffee spilling all over the floor. The only light the room offered was the pale moonlight coming from the windows, and after scanning every corner of the room, my eyes landed on Bucky’s sleeping figure. His whole body was tense, fists clenched and his jaw was tighten but his mouth was slightly open letting out sharp breaths. I slowly approached the bed to wake him up, humming a song I knew it was his favorite one. I hated when Bucky had nightmares, my poor child, he had them too often, and because I usually am the only one awake, I helped him. According to Nat, and I quote, “you’re just so in love with each other that breathing the same air calms you both” and of course my answer was always denying those feelings, because it made no sense, right? 

Steve usually stayed with him when he had breakdowns during the day and Wanda helped to ease his mind. Bucky was a bit reluctant at first because it was mind control, but once he trusted Wanda, he let her in, but only if I was around. I gently placed my hand in his flesh shoulder, still humming but a little louder. He started blurting out russian words I couldn’t understand and his body started to tremble.  _ Shit. Shit. Shit. Shitty. Shit.  _

“Buck” I shook his shoulder, whispering his name. Nothing. I tried three more times and it only made it worse. 

“James!” I shouted while I shook his shoulders harshly, trying to wake him up. “James open your eyes, you’re having a nightmare.”  **_Nothing_ ** . 

What came after, was the best and worst idea I ever had. I hopped on the bed and straddled him, I took a deep breath and shook my head knowing this would end bad. 

“I’m so sorry, Buck.” I whispered right before I crossed his face as hard as I could with the palm of my right hand and his eyes immediately opened, emotionless.  _ Fuck _ . His left hand landed on my neck, I gasped. 

“Bu-Bucky. It’s me. Please...wake...up, it’s me.” I said, almost breathless. I was about to faint when he let go of my neck and sat down abruptly.

“Oh my God, I’m sorry.” He cupped my face gently, afraid. He looked like he had been shot. The moonlight showed his features and he looked...beautiful.  _ I really need oxygen, I’m pretty sure my brain is shutting down at this exact moment. _ “Lills, speak to me.”  

“I’m sorry I hit you. The usual wasn’t working. It’s fine, I’m fine.” He was looking at me with glossy eyes, like he was about to cry. He dropped his head, avoiding eye contact. 

“Buck, look at me.” I cupped his face and made him look at me. “I am alright. You were having a nightmare and I hit you, it’s fine.” I smiled at him, but I couldn’t stop the tears that were rolling down my cheeks. Bucky wiped them off with his thumbs. Deadly assassin my ass. I could see that his mind was still in the nightmare. Before I could open my mouth to ask him, he started speaking.

“They-they had you. They wanted to kill you because I was refusing to comply. And they tried to wipe you off my mind.” He sniffled. I looked at him, trying to read his ocean eyes. He was looking at me with tenderness and admiration and lo... _ NO _ . 

“James, I’m here. Nothing happened to me.” I tucked a piece of hair out of his face, brushing my thumb slowly and cupping his cheek. He leaned to the touch. My little softie. At that precise moment, Nat’s words echoed in my mind. Was I really in love with him? With my thoughts spinning through my head, my heart started beating faster. _ Oh shit. I do love him. Fuck.  _

I realized I was still straddling him, so I slowly moved to sit down next to him. I leaned my head on his metal shoulder, not caring at all, and started humming his song again. After a few minutes, he sighed.

“I would prefer to be killed rather than forgetting you.” I was speechless. “I would die if that meant remembering your smile, your voice, the way you cup your cup of coffee every morning like it’s your most precious treasure, the little frown that appears when you are concentrated and every little thing I know about you.” I couldn't speak, I had a lump in my throat and tears filling my eyes. He took my hand and tangled his metal fingers with mine. “I would gladly die if that meant remembering the love I feel for you, Lillian.” 

At that moment, I forgot all the languages I spoke, I think I even forgot how to breathe. I felt my whole body shivering and I heard myself sobbing. Bucky looked at me, frowning, afraid he said something he shouldn’t have said. 

“Lills, sorry I just...I just…” He was cut by my laughter. I felt like I was in a damn rollercoaster. I was fucking laughing and sobbing at the same time. _What the hell?_

“Fucking Natasha.” I muttered. Bucky was blinking, trying to understand what was going on. 

“She knew all along and we were so blind.” I looked at him while I cupped his face, and leaned in. His lips were soft against mine, like a caress. He placed his hand at the back of my neck and pulled me closer to him. The kiss was filled of love and affection, nothing sexual. I broke the kiss to breathe and to look at him again. He was a real vision. I couldn’t believe how I’ve been lying to myself.  I started laughing again, the weight on my chest lifting. Bucky smiled at me, but I could see he was confused.

“I can’t believe how in love I am. Aren’t we stupid, Barnes?” He looked at me, startled. _ Well bitch, it’s your time to be speechless. _

I started singing the song, more like  whispering.

“I know this is your favorite song, but what you don’t know is that I always sing it or hum it to you because I think of you. There’s no sunshine when you’re not around, no warmth and time is painfully slow.” His eyes widen, full of love and joy.

He kisses me again, slow and sweet, stroking the hair at the back of my head. I felt like I was melting under his arms. He broke the kiss this time, he lay down pulling me with him and hugged me. 

“I love you, Lills.” He said, kissing the top of my head. I giggled.

“And I love you too, my little softie.”

**Author's Note:**

> The song they talk about is "Ain't no sunshine when she's gone" by Bill Withers.


End file.
